Reasons I cried this Week

So apparently eating disorders make it so you never feel emotions, just depression for like ever until, again, either you die or recover.

So I never realized in the last 7 years that I haven't really cried that often? Or when I did I was just like mad and depressed but like never sad? WHICH COME TO MY SURPRISE, SUSAN, ISN'T NORMAL. So as I started eating again (refeeding as they call it which is so disturbing because we sound like cattle), i also started to feel again- Which again, WHO KNEW EATING LET YOU FEEL, YOU SURE FOOLED ME. But I started crying about everything, like happy, sad, indifferent. I just really had a lot of built up tears that needed to come out whenever they felt like it. Most recently, I cried because someone told me thank you for holding the door. LIKE THEY DIDNT HAVE TO SAY THANK YOU AND THEY DID. Just little things like that force the eyes to dribble. Here's a list of somethings that made me cry in the last 3 months.

1. I watched 30 seconds of George H W Bush’s funeral and even though I was barely alive when he was president, I convinced myself we were friends.

2. I couldn’t find my coat.

3. I stubbed my toe on my bed.

4. I couldn’t find any matching socks.

5. I heard that dogs wait around for you all day to get home.

6. Remembering that my mom didn’t force me to stay in gymnastics.

7. I dropped my water bottle and it looked like I peed my pants.

8. There were too many yarn options at JoAnn Fabrics.

9. We were out of keylime yogurt.

10. The neighbor moved a garbage can so I wouldn’t hit it.

11. Conan O’Brien didn’t get a fair shake at the Tonight Show

12. I saw a squirrel and was so upset he didn’t go south for the winter and then realized that’s birds that do that.

13. I saw an old man waiting by the bus stop by himself

14. Scout wouldn’t eat his breakfast and I thought maybe he thought I was a bad cook, but then I realized I bought his food from the store and didn’t cook it.

15. I got a starburst packet with both yellows.

So things are great. I think my boyfriend is quite frightened as I have gone from Stone Cold Steve Austin (3:16), to Nicole from Season 23 of the Bachelor that literally cried 85 times each episode over nonsense in a span of 6 months. So If you're ever around me, please don't say anything nice, sad, upsetting, emotional, uncomfortable. Basically just remain neutral and all will be fine.